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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26566768">Why?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vault_Emblem/pseuds/Vault_Emblem'>Vault_Emblem</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Brotherly Love, CC-5052 | Bly Needs A Hug, Canon Divergence - Order 66, Canonical Character Death, Crying, Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Order 66, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rebel Bly, Rebel Cody, yes bly still kills aayla sorry :(</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:21:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,769</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26566768</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vault_Emblem/pseuds/Vault_Emblem</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bly's sulking on his own when Cody decides to come bother him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>CC-5052 | Bly &amp; CC-2224 | Cody, background CC-2224 Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, background CC-5052 Bly/Aayla Secura</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>98</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Why?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm sorry :(</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This place is too crowded for Bly’s tastes, that’s why he’s found an empty corner to sulk in.</p>
<p>Even during the Clone Wars he didn’t enjoy sharing his space with too many people - it reminded him of the chaos of the battlefield - but now it’s even worse.</p>
<p>It could be even worse, he supposes, as difficult as something like that could be. He could still be a mindless droid working for the Empire.</p>
<p>That fact that people would try to save him - save any clone - is still surprising for Bly, and he still doesn’t know how to feel about it: on one hand it’s nice to be free again, to be able to fight for what he thinks is right and not because of some order he can’t refuse, and of course it’s nice to be able to be with his vode again, at least those that are alive and free.</p>
<p>And yet, as he thinks about Aayla’s lifeless body on the ground, he can’t help but to think that maybe being a mindless droid would’ve been better.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was the one who put her down.</p>
<p>He shot her not just once, but countless times. She had to die, and better to die by their hands rather than someone who would make her suffer.</p>
<p>It was an act of mercy in its own twisted way, and Bly hates it, hates it, hates it…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Somebody gently shakes his shoulder, and Bly finally remembers that he’s supposed to breathe.</p>
<p>“Hey vod, you alright?”</p>
<p>Bly looks up from where he’s been crouching for who knows how long, and he sees Cody leaning over him with a worried look on his face. He was another vod that has been saved from the chip’s grasp.</p>
<p>“I’m fine,” Bly replies, shoving off the hand. There’s a reason why he wanted to be alone, and he isn’t appreciative of Cody’s presence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Things are strained between the two of them. No, Cody hasn’t done anything wrong for once, it’s just that…</p>
<p>Bly knows it’s wrong, and yet every time he sees Cody and general Kenobi hover around each other, he can help the pang of envy that takes over him.</p>
<p>Why is Cody more deserving of this and not him?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cody sighs at that reaction, but at least there is no venom in his voice when he speaks, despite his words.</p>
<p>“You know I’m supposed to be the youngest, not you? ‘Cause you’re acting like quite the baby lately.”</p>
<p>He slides against the wall, sitting down beside Bly who, despite wanting to do it, doesn’t tell him off, and the two of them stay in silence, clearly waiting for the other to say something.</p>
<p>From time to time they see people passing by - life in a rebel base is never too static - but they pay them no mind, something Bly appreciates. The last thing he needs now is having to explain to whoever asks why they’re there and what they’re doing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So?”</p>
<p>“So what?” Bly replies.</p>
<p>To say that he’s unnerved would be an understatement. He just wants to be left alone, but for some reason the universe has decided that it hasn’t tormented him enough, and now he has to deal with Cody as well.</p>
<p>“I don’t know you tell me,” the other replies, defiant ‘till the end, “You’re the one who’s constantly making fusses, who skips meals and spends all his time alone, and when someone comes checking on you you rudely send them away.”</p>
<p>His expression softens, and this time he speaks more quietly.</p>
<p>“Tell me what’s bothering you, vod. I don’t know if I can help, but I’ll try.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Look at him, ready to help people even though nobody asked. Bly wonders from who he picked it up from.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What bothers me,” he says then, “Is that you’re constantly following the general like a lost tooka. It’s pitiful.”</p>
<p>He’s not being fair, Bly knows it, but he doesn’t want to be. Watching Cody and his lover being able to still be together reminds him of what he’s lost. How is he supposed to forget and move on when he feels a pang at his chest every time they smile at each other, when they radiate such a warmth for the other that even someone not force sensitive like Bly can feel it?</p>
<p>The worst thing is that they don’t even realize they’re doing it. For them, Bly is willing to bet, things haven’t changed much; this is simply a different war from the one they were previously fighting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cody’s stance becomes defensive, and his eyes harden again. Did Bly hit a sensitive spot?</p>
<p>“So what? I’m not doing anything wrong,” he defends himself. Weak.</p>
<p>Bly doesn’t want himself to do this, he doesn’t want to hurt his Kote, but his heart has been bleeding since he got that stupid stupid order and there’s nothing anyone can do to put remedy to that. He’s broken and nothing will ever fix him again.</p>
<p>He’s been suffering for so long he’s come to hate that his brother has what he doesn’t. It’s the living proof that things could’ve gone differently, but he hadn’t been strong enough for it to actually happen.</p>
<p>Rage erupts in his next words. He can’t keep it in anymore.</p>
<p>“Yes you are actually!” he exclaims, finger poking Cody’s chest, “Why do you still have Obi-Wan?! Why did the universe decided to let you have this one thing?! You’re not better than me!”</p>
<p>He goes on, pouring his heart out, uncaring of anyone that could be passing through. Let them hear, he doesn’t care.</p>
<p>“You don’t deserve Obi-Wan! You don’t deserve to have someone you didn’t do anything! You should be alone!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There so much more he wants to say, so much more venom he wants to spy at Cody’s face, but as he catches his breath he finds himself suddenly void of any energy.</p>
<p>He’s so tired, of everything. He wants to wake up and find out this was all a bad dream. He’ll wake up and he’ll see Aayla, who will ask him what’s wrong, who will reassure him that everything’s fine, that they’re safe.</p>
<p>If only…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cody looks visibly put off by this entire display. It’s pathetic, Bly’s aware of it.</p>
<p>He grunts as he turns around, not being able to bear the other’s gaze anymore.</p>
<p>The silence is tense around them, he can feel it.</p>
<p>He doesn’t know what Cody will say, but whatever it’ll be, he deserves it. He really shouldn’t have said those things.</p>
<p>Still, out of anything he could’ve said, he wasn’t expecting Cody’s question. Well, it’s not that what is unexpected, actually, but the broken tone in which he says it, the tone of someone who’s desperately trying to keep it together.</p>
<p> “Do you truly hate me this much?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bly takes his time to ponder that question, sneer evident in his face. Does he hate Cody?</p>
<p>If he were braver, he would have the courage to look at him in the eyes as he replies; instead his gaze is fixed on his closed fist - a fist that he could easily plant on the other’s face if he had less self-control.</p>
<p>“As much as I would like to,” he sighs, “… No.”</p>
<p>It would be so easy to hate him - he has everything Bly can never have, not anymore - but… Cody is his vod’ika, and he’ll continue being his vod’ika no matter what happens, despite everything. He can’t--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His thoughts are interrupted by surprise when a sob breaks through Bly’s sealed lips and another follows suit, until Bly’s crying uncontrollably against Cody’s shoulder.</p>
<p>His brother doesn’t know what to do. Normally he wouldn’t hesitate to bring him closer into a tight hug, but their relationship is a bit strained at the moment and he doesn’t want to make things worse. In the end he settles one hand on Bly’s shoulders, rubbing small circles, and he lets him cry - even though his shirt’s beginning to get wet, but that’s not important.</p>
<p>Should he say something? He doesn’t know. Since he’s most likely to set Bly off if he speaks, he decides that it’s better if he shuts up for once, letting him vent all his pain and frustration.</p>
<p>He knows it won’t magically solve everything, but he hopes that at least it helps.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eventually, Bly stops sobbing, but he still stays there, face buried against Cody’s shoulder. He still hasn’t said a word.</p>
<p>Then, as quiet as a whisper, Cody hears him speak.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry…”</p>
<p>“It’s fine,” he replies. It truly is not fine, but what good would talking about it do now? Bly is clearly hurting and Cody doesn’t want to upset him further.</p>
<p>Besides, he understands. He’s the only one who got lucky, but if things were different he bets he’d feel the same way: bitter and angry. Still…</p>
<p>“Next time you feel like this, come to me. Don’t go sulk somewhere like this. It does you no good.”</p>
<p>Bly weakly nods, sniffling.</p>
<p>“Ok… ok…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He finally manages to find the courage to look at Cody. He’s smiling at him, the dork, trying to be reassuring.</p>
<p>Bly can’t help but to smile back.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” he says then. He means it. “And sorry again, I don’t… I don’t know what came to me.”</p>
<p>“I understand,” Cody sighs, “Just try to hang on, ok?”</p>
<p>At those words, Bly can’t help but to chuckle, going to ruffle Kote’s hair.</p>
<p>“Aw, look at you, acting all grown up,” he says, making Cody groan.</p>
<p>“I’m older than you shut up.”</p>
<p>“You admitted that you’re the youngest,” Bly points out. That’s something he’ll never let Cody forget. Damn it, he should’ve recorded it now that he thinks about it.</p>
<p>“No I didn’t,” Cody insists, stubborn as always, already pouting like he used to do when they were cadets back on Kamino.</p>
<p>“You clearly did, I heard you.”</p>
<p>“Impossible, I admitted to anything.”</p>
<p>At those words, Bly can’t help but to groan. He’ll never get him to admit it again.</p>
<p>“Ugh, you’re so annoying <em>Kote</em>.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good thing you love me then, don’t you?”</p>
<p>It’s a risk, especially considering what Bly has yelled at him just a couple of moments before, but Cody feels daring. Besides, if this manages to put Bly in a good mood, why shouldn’t he do it?</p>
<p>Bly hesitates, thorn between telling him to go kark a droid or actually admitting it. In the end, he chooses the latter.</p>
<p>“Yeah… I love you Cody.”</p>
<p>He’s looking already better than before, that’s for sure, and Cody’s smile grows larger when he notices it. It’s good.</p>
<p>“I love you too, Bly.”</p>
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